This week’s posts are all about being you and finding yourself. The sober you also known as the real you. I mean what a difference. Think about how you were in active addiction, at your worst. That moment when you hit your rock bottom and you might have been at rock bottom for quite a long time. But then came that moment of clarity. The moment the truth smacked you square in the face. That glorious moment when you finally was able to realize that you have had enough. You couldn’t do it anymore. You wanted to live and what you were doing was not living.
Once in recovery, you see people in active addiction and you wonder if that’s what you were like. Did you look that bad? Act that fucking stupid? You thought you were hot shit back then. Were you? Or was it all a facade? Was it fun to be broke all the time? Or waking up butt ass naked in a place you have never been, with a couple of people sleeping around the room that you didn’t know? Scared to death about what might have possibly happened. So, you quietly put your clothes on and run without ever asking what may have occurred? Truthfully, you didn’t want to know. Your mind was racing with the possibilities and it was sick. Oh wow, that shit sounds like so much fun.
Shoot me now if that is how my life is going to be, forever. Yep, a sober life is a good life. Sober is the new cool. Real shit. Here are 11 reasons sobriety kicks ass.
11 Reasons Sobriety Kicks Ass
1. Self Respect
Self-respect is a huge deal to me and I hope it is the same for you. Every woman should respect herself and the decisions she makes. I have morals now. It’s not anything goes. I never think to myself, well I’ll do this because the money is worth it or I am getting a whole fricken brick for doing this nasty shit. Hell no, forget that, not no more. I never have to worry about feeling dirty or wrong or feel like I’m going to vomit just thinking about a situation I put myself in.
Every single decision I make is respectable. My standards are high. I do not deal with the bullshit. I respect myself and my body. If you don’t like it then, it’s time for you to move on. Plus, I’m married so don’t come at me sideways with any shit about my past or assume something. I will smack that smirk right off your face. Guess what? I am a bad ass and I am damn proud of it.
This is a no-brainer. Think of your money situation now compared to your money situation in active addiction. I don’t talk about much of my past but, I’ll say this. When I was in early addiction, I got an accident settlement from a car wreck I was in. It was over $100,000 and gone in a few months if that. If I shot dope then, I would be dead. The thing is I have nothing to show for it and that’s how I started my addiction. Yep with a shitload of money so, I was used to it and I needed that throughout my decade addiction which led to a lot of criminal activity.
Yet, I never had a dollar to my name. It was drug money and nothing else. It was gone as soon as I got it. I knew that and didn’t question it. Now, I have everything I want. I’m not rich by any means but, I am comfortable. I have credit cards which my credit sucked before, big time. It’s nice to be able to buy what I need and spoil my children. Everything that I have, I am grateful for. If you are a recovering addict than surely you must feel the same. Having money to spend and actually have a place to live and bills to pay is f-awesome. Isn’t it?
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My relationships are remarkable. Throughout my addiction, one thing I missed so much was my grandparents. Now, I talk to them every day and see them at least once or twice a week. My parents and I were not even on speaking terms, now we are a family again. Wait, the coolest thing is I have a family of my own. My partner is not another junkie that I get high with. He is sober, I am sober. We are sober He is a hard-working man who works his ass off while he lets me pursue my dream. Plus, we both want me to stay at home with our children who are too young for school. Amazing man. Remember, sober is the new cool.
Think about the difference in your relationships. In addiction, you had no real friends. You didn’t do normal things. Did you ever go out to dinner or to the movies? What about taking your children on vacation? Hell, did you even have custody of your children? I’m being serious. I don’t have custody of my 10-year-old, I never have. Yet, now I am building a relationship with him. He knows I’m his mom and that I was a mess. He also gets that I’m trying to do my best now and that I love him. What more could I ask for?
Your health is so important to you. Not just how you look on the outside but, you have to start inside. We all know that putting drugs into your body is not good. Not one little bit. People end up with diseases like hepatitis and even HIV. Some addicts have mental health issues to deal with and with drugs they are simply self-medicating. So, they are not taking care of the underlying problem.
Not to mention that being sober, we eat better, care for ourselves, and sleep. In active addiction, we didn’t do any of this stuff like we should have. Addicts do not take care of themselves the right way. The way that our mind and body needs us to. We need to be emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy. In sobriety, we are well on our way and a hell of a lot better off than before.
5. No More Legal Issues
This might sound ridiculous to some but, to me, it’s not. Do you know how long it has been since I have been to jail? Once I got clean, within the same year I got off of both probation and parole. What? Oh my, was I happy. For several years I had a warrant out for my arrest constantly. I was always looking over my shoulder. At the end, I was very paranoid. I didn’t leave my house for months because I was afraid of going to prison.
On top of having no legal issues pending or current, I am free. I no longer freak when I see a cop behind me. Or want to spit on the cop car when I walk past just because I hate the way they look. I am free, free from a troubled mind. No longer committing criminal activities for drugs. I am a productive, law-abiding citizen. Damn, I just laughed out loud because 7 years ago if I would never have said that in public. It’s cool being like this, being sober. Really, Sober is the new cool.
6. People’s Perception
Think of how people used to perceive you. When I see a person in active addiction, my first instinct is to feel bad because I know the pain, the torture, and the emptiness. Yet, I wonder when is that person going to say that they are ready to get clean? When is it going to be enough? They might die like this. I still give panhandlers money if I cross them even though 10 out of 10 times it is for drugs. (I’ve been there, don’t tell me different) No longer do I want people to feel sorry for me or say damn, look how bad she fucked up her life.
Then, there are the people who don’t understand addiction. They look at addicts as scum. They perceive you as a piece of shit believing you could stop at any moment. It’s a moral failing, a character defect. Wake up loser, everything in life isn’t free! You have to work, you just can’t lay around getting high all day.
Yeah, I definitely don’t want people to perceive me like that.
The New Black
7. People Respect You
Not only will you have self-respect but you will get respect from others as well. Especially from other people in recovery or from anyone who knows a thing about addiction. They will respect you for changing your life and for overcoming your addiction.
I used to be afraid of how people would look at my children once, they knew about my past. Then, my husband told me that he doesn’t know one person who talks shit or downgrades me because I made something of myself and overcame the biggest struggle I ever had to face. And you know what? He was right.
8. You Always Remember
No more of waking up and not knowing what conspired the previous night or day, or week for that matter. I am the type of person who remembers everything. My husband hates it. I really remember everything. Although, there have been plenty of nights during my active addiction that I do not remember a damn thing. Mainly, due to the Xanax or Klonopin, I was taking on top of my dope. People would tell me stories and I would laugh. But you know what? It’s funny to a street walking addict but not to a sober mother with kids.
Who the hell wants that to happen? To not remember what you did the night before? You were so fucked up, you could have killed someone and have no damn clue. What about those moments when you wake up and you’re staring at the bottom of the top bunk in a jail cell and you think to yourself, how the hell did I end up here? Or oh my god, please tell me that this is just a bad dream. Oh, the agony. No more of that bullshit.
Thank you but I like knowing what the hell is going on.
9. No More Sickness
Remember, I am a recovering heroin addict so being dope sick was always part of the game. Every time I had to detox, it got worse and worse. It didn’t matter if it was with or without medicine to help the symptoms of withdrawal. The very last time I had to detox, I was pregnant and converted to methadone while incarcerated. It was pure hell. I was in the hospital for a week, throwing up repeatedly, every 5 minutes. Let’s not forget there was a guard right beside my hospital bed since I was technically incarcerated and going right back to prison once I was done with detox.
In the beginning of addiction, there was no sickness like that. It gets worse with time. The longer you stay out there, the harder it is to come back. Nothing more than a harsh reality. Who likes being sick?
10. Material Possessions
How cool is that? Seriously, now that you can actually hold down a job, you have things. A home, a car, a bed, clothes, money, and other possessions. If your addiction never led you to be homeless, it would have. Never say never. You would be surprised at how far you will fall if you stay in active addiction.
Yet, along with having material possessions comes bills. The thing is, it is alright. You pay your bills and on time. You pay loans, fines, mortgages, daycare, and so on. You’re a responsible, productive member of society. I hate that damn saying but, it is so true. Don’t you forget it? Never forget what you are capable of? Be proud of all that you have and that you actually own.
11. Sober is The New Cool
Let’s break it down like this. What is cool about being an addict? People look at you with repulsion and steer their children away from you. When you walk into a shopping store, the employees automatically follow you around to make sure you are not stealing. You go days with showering. You do things you should not do, we won’t go into detail. No self-respect or decency. Therefore, you are a hot mess and only get worse.Wake up and see the light.
Wake up and see the light. Sober is The New Cool. You actually live again. People love you and your relationships are great, You have a job or career.
So, why would you want to be an addict? Why would you want to look unhealthy and be stigmatized? Rise up and reach your full potential.
Kick addiction in the ass. There is nothing good that comes from drug addiction.
Addiction is pure torture and hell! Sober Is The New Cool!